


In Deep

by morrezela



Series: In Hiding [3]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Dragons, M/M, Mindwiping, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 21:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morrezela/pseuds/morrezela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen reflects on the relationship that almost was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Deep

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Angst, dragon fic
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: This fic is set after In Hiding, but before In Trouble. You should try to read In Hiding first if you haven't already, or this timestamp won't make as much sense.
> 
> All mistakes that you find are my own.

Trivial is what others would call the tiny figurine. Some would even dare to deem it childish or tacky. Its tiny palm trees arching to form a heart over two surfers riding a wave is certainly not the classiest thing that Jensen has ever seen. The silly expressions of puckered lips and closed eyes on the surfers’ faces are outlandish more than they are entertaining. The way that the tiny people are leaning towards each other to kiss while they ride some monster wave is physically impractical, and the paint job on the ceramic piece is just this side of garish.

Jensen loves it.

He can’t help himself. Jared bought it for him and wrapped it up with his own clumsy fingers. He ignored social propriety to give it to his boss on Valentine’s Day. Jensen is tempted to think that there is significance in Jared choosing that date, but he suspects that Jared had been waiting for an excuse to give it more than he had planned on observing the holiday with his boss.

It is most probable that the gift is nothing more than Jared’s tender heart coming through. Jensen’s assistant knows how fond of trinkets that he is, and Jared was with him the day that he went to the beach and became enthralled by the surfers out enjoying the ocean. Out on the waves, a wedding had been taking place. Although the bride and groom had sat astride their boards instead of actually surfing on them, the statuette is a clear reference to that day.

Despite having far better things to do, Jensen had decided right then and there to go get surfing lessons. It had been a useless endeavor. So to ease his mind, he had dragged Jared along with him. Naturally, Jensen hadn’t tried to get instruction at the same beach. He had respect and a little bit of starry eyed worship of weddings and what they meant to humans. He refused to mar a wedding by thrashing around in the nearby surf.

Besides, Jensen is a very wealthy man as far as the human world is concerned. It hadn’t been difficult to procure private lessons on an exclusive beach. He and Jared had played in the surf and fallen over and laughed and generally made fools of themselves.

Jensen’s freckles had turned bronze and begun to shimmer as his scales tried to break though, but he hadn’t cared because it was a perfect day. It had been the kind of time that he wished would last forever - he and Jared with nothing but the sun and the surf and a barely intrusive instructor trying to get them to stay upright on their boards. In their heads, they had been amazing, natural surfers. In reality they had been lucky to escape with their lives.

That day of all days had given Jensen hope that Jared would be the one to try to capture his heart. Jared would be the one to steal it away and bind Jensen to him forever. Jared was going to be the one; Jensen had been sure of it.

Now as he watches Chad help Jared pack up his personal effects, Jensen can’t help but reflect upon how foolish he had been. His beautiful Jared is going to go out and have the career that he has always wanted. The man who Jensen had hoped would choose him over anything else has chosen his career.

Jensen doesn’t begrudge Jared his choice. The man is human and completely entitled to pursuing his fame and fortune. But Jensen can’t be with somebody famous. It is too much of a temptation for reporters to ignore, and he can’t have paparazzi intruding too far into his life for the secrets that it holds.

And famous people? They don’t have time for a needy partner like Jensen is going to be. He doesn’t deny that his true nature will come out eventually. All dragons become dependent upon their ones. Their heart beats with their lover’s heart. Jensen works with enough stars to know the temptations and pressures put upon them. If his lover were ever anything other than steadfast, Jensen’s life would be forfeit.

For Jared, Jensen thinks that he wouldn’t mind that fate. He thinks that he could love the human enough to just enjoy their brief moments together, but he also cares for Jared too much to put that sort of burden on him.

Jensen wants the best for Jared. He wants him to take the opportunity to learn to surf the ups and downs of Hollywood as surely as he finally mastered the waves on the beach that day. Jensen wants Jared to succeed because even if his heart hasn’t been stolen from him, he thinks that his loves his soon-to-be former assistant.

Putting the trinket back down on his shelf, Jensen takes a deep breath of fortification so that he can go out and say his goodbyes. He’ll have other assistants, but he doubts they will ever mean as much to him as Jared. They won’t ever become surfers or anything else together, but Jensen is okay with that. He doesn’t want anybody to mar his memories of Jared.

In his mind, he sees himself and Jared together on that beach getting married, exchanging vows and learning to ride the currents of life together. Jensen knows that he won’t ever get what he wants, but thanks to Jared’s gift, he’ll always have a memory of what he nearly had.

That is going to have to be enough.


End file.
